Tag Archives: Ageing

The Perks, yes the Perks

I stumbled upon this in my 2003 archives and have decided to post it again, mainly because 13 years later, it rings even truer.

The Perks of Being Over 40 50

– Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

– In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

– No one expects you to run into a burning building.

– People call at 9PM and ask, “Did I wake you?”.

– People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

– There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

– Things you buy now won’t wear out.

– You can eat dinner at 4PM.

– You can live without sex but not without glasses.

– You enjoy hearing about other peoples’ operations.

– You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

– You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.

– You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

– You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

– You sing along with elevator music.

– Your eyes won’t get much worse.

– Your health plan is beginning to pay off.

– Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

– Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

– Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

Contributed at the time by Jen.

Product Labeling for
Old People (like me)

I don’t get much exposure to advertising, primarily because I almost never watch regular television. When I learn of new products, it is usually because someone tells me about them or because I spot them on the shelves at the store.

I spotted something on my weekly jaunt to the supermarket last week. A new shampoo and conditioner by a leading manufacturer, packaged in unusually bold colors, making a claim so outrageous that I took them up on the challenge and bought a set of shampoo and conditioner.

Now, most people in my age group need glasses to read stuff. Ten years ago, I didn’t need glasses to read stuff. Not even small print on the back of a product label in a badly lit DIY aisle. That changes with advancing age. However, I do not shower with my glasses on – in fact, I don’t think anyone does.

Which is why on Saturday, I found myself trying to shampoo with the conditioner, until I noticed there were no suds. This morning again, trying to figure out which bottle is which by holding it at arm’s length as close as possible to the bathroom window to make use of the light, to see if the bottle was labeled “Shampoo” or “Spülung” (conditioner).

So, dear manufacturer, you’ve created a haircare product which does indeed fantastically make my thin hair feel much thicker. I think that’s really cool, despite the fact that it probably does so with chemicals that aren’t very good for me. However, I’d be much more pleased with your product if YOUR name was printed a bit smaller, allowing more room for the printing the product details just a tad larger than what appears to be about a size 10 type at the moment.

This is not so important for most products, but for products that are designed for use while one is buck naked and without eyewear, it might be worth a consideration.

Thank you.

Three Signs

that I am definitely getting old:

1) I appreciate the effects of long underwear (even wool) this time of year.

2) I wake up every morning at 6.30 a.m. automatically, regardless of whether it is the weekend or not.

3) I own a radio-controlled weather station (indoor/outdoor temp, humidity, barometric pressure, sunrise, sunset – the whole shebang).

*sigh*

Time Flies

I have been having age issues. Nothing serious mind you, but an assortment of aches and pains which at the moment seem to constantly remind me of the fact that I am no longer thirty.

Combined with a few pictures taken on the motorcycle outing with all those Honda dudes which left me looking less than flattering, IMHO.

Topped by an email from amazon.com with personal recommendations which was full of books titled “Life begins at 50” and similar.

Of course, the rational side of my brain points out, that the genes in our family are such that we tend to age more than gracefully.

I am getting rid of all my short skirts nevertheless. Can’t wear them on a motorcycle anyway 😉

Guess I am Getting Old

The company I have my part-time job at is manufacturer of industrial devices. The four young men which work in assembly are all well-mannered and nice. Usually.

I had a conversation with one of them in the course of the week about the weather. When I mentioned that 85F would be more my thing than the cold rainy weather we were having, he said “Yes, but then you wouldn’t go out in it, would you?”

I told him “of course” and asked him why he thought I wouldn’t.

His reply?

“Well, that makes you one of the very few older people I know who go out in hot weather.”

Next time I ride the bike into work, I think I’ll run over him with the Kiwi a time or two.

It’s All In The Eyes

II think I have become one of those people who forgets to blink while staring at the monitor.

In the last weeks, my eyes have been incredibly “tired” in the evening, which is no wonder as I sit at the PC generally from 7 a.m. to 6 or 7 p.m. Monday through Friday. I have been doing a lot of graphics editing and such in the last few weeks, and while manipulating pixels here and there, have caught myself leaning forward so far that my nose was not far from touching the monitor.

I have tried my reading glasses, but the monitor is too far away for them to work and as for my driving glasses, well, if I wore those while working on the computer I think my customers would get some very interesting work from me.

On Thursday, I went to the optometrist and had them measure my eyes for a pair of “computer” glasses. I have no idea what they are really called in english and am too lazy and tired now to look it up. They are glasses with a mid-distance range and are designed to be worn while working on the computer.

I can’t wait to get them; I think they are going to be a big help. The optometrist took the opportunity of me sitting in his chair to check my long distance vision, which has not changed at all from three years ago (I have a slight correction to both eyes, but nevertheless, in my driver’s license, it says I need glasses to drive – you’ve no idea how much that has irked me in the past 12 years.)

If I am lucky then everyone is not yet on Easter Holiday and I might get them this week.

i SuRE hopE Se. Geez mv eves @re tlred.

Since It Has Been A

slow and quiet Monday and quite uninspiring in a myriad of ways, I present to you this tad of advice (contributed by Jennifer).

Dress Code for those who are much older than they think:

Many of us (those over 40, WAY over 40, or those hovering near 40) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. Some of us are unsure about the kind of image to project and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions.

Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

  • A nose ring and bifocals
  • Spiked hair and bald spots
  • A pierced tongue and dentures
  • Miniskirts and support hose
  • Ankle bracelets and corn pads
  • Speedo’s and cellulite
  • A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
  • Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
  • Midriff shirts and midriff bulge
  • Bikinis and liver spots
  • Short shorts and varicose veins
  • Inline skates and a cane
And last, but not least--

  • Thongs and Depends
Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind when you shop. And if you can't remember them, maybe you'd better print them out and carry them in your purse or wallet.

Snap, Crackle, Pop

I enjoyed a long walk with Tobi on Saturday, and after having slid down the embankment of the river which, much to my dismay had snow drifts of over one meter, I was forced to continue the walk in the deep snow for about 50 meters until I found a spot on which I was able to climb back up the embankment.

Maybe it was the embankment, perhaps it was the four cords of wood we received on Saturday morning – either way, I have done something to my back.

Whenever I shift my weight to my left foot, something in my lower spine makes a “click”. Not always, not each time, but after I have walked a considerable distance it becomes continuous. Strangely enough, it does not really hurt – just a dull pain now and then.

Will have to see a doc, if it doesn’t stop clicking.