Subject: Ladies vs. Women
Ladies: If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it’s still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant “fix-me-up.”
Real Woman: If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that’s too damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women’s motto: “I made it and you will eat it and I don’t care how bad it tastes.”
Ladies: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Real Woman: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?
Ladies: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Real Woman: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete’s sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up eating it anyway.
Ladies: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Real Woman: Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
Ladies: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won’t be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Real Woman: Go to the bakery — they’ll even decorate it for you.
Ladies: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Woman: Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don’t do it.
Ladies: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Woman: Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it.
And finally the most important tip…
Ladies: Don’t throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Woman: Leftover wine??