A Joke

A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over and the officer walked up to the car. The female police officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde’s driver’s license.

The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, “What does a driver’s license look like?”

Irritated, the blonde cop said, “You dummy, it’s got your picture on it!”

The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, “Aha! This must be my driver’s license,” and handed it to the blonde policewoman.

The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, “You’re free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all this hassle.”

Stuff

It is amazing to me how quickly a four-day weekend can pass. Here it is Sunday night already, and tomorrow I’ve to put my nose back to the old grindstone. Ugh.

Jen, I tried calling you today but you weren`t home and your answering machine wasn’t on either. Will try again next weekend.

Didn’t catch any fish this weekend, kinda frustrating, but if they aren’t biting there isn’t a damn thing you can do. Well, go and buy one I guess, but that’s beneath my principles.

Finally called Dad today, figured I’d make it a round week of being late to congratulate him. I don’t think he was upset.

Mom told me its been raining there since April 27, and everything is kinda floating away.

Here, we have been having summerly temperatures since the end of April, which are way over normal levels here. Usually it rarely goes above 80, we have had days in a row of 88 – 90 degrees.

Kinda nice, the geraniums are growing, the tomatoes are six feet high, and thanks to Mom’s seeds, I have got melons!

(no outta line comments here, folks).

Does anyone out there have construction plans for a winding staircase? If so let me know, as renovations are planned here for July and we will be putting one in so that I can access the upper level of the house (instead of the ladder I’ve so fondly grown accustomed to).

Gotta go outside and enjoy the rest of this wonderful summer evening….

Grin

The post below is, for those of you who do not speak German, Uwe’s account of a large brown slug, which I had seen twice while fishing late in the evening recently. (post lost)

I saw it once, while I was keeping my eye on my bobbers, out of the corner of my eye as the slug crept out of the underbrush.

The second time I saw him was 20 minutes later, hanging 3/4 of the way in my freshly opened can of beer.

(No, I didn’t drink the rest after removing the slug). ugh.

Today is a holiday here (not in all of Germany, just in Bavaria). Bavaria has a few more holidays than Germany due in part to the large catholic population.

So, I’m off to go do the holiday thing…..

Die Schnecke

Aus meinem Nachtleben !

Wie so oft sitze ich gedankenversunken angelnd am Weiher und starre ins Wasser, hoffe das sich der Schwimmer bewegt, ein Fischlein sich regt.

Doch nichts passiert nur das Schilf um mich herum raschelt im Wind.

Ich döse vor mich hin, noch einen Schluck Bier aus der Dose.

Plötzlich, beinahe neben mir, es ist schon fast dunkel kam etwas aus dem Schilf.

Nackt, ohne alles räkelte sich sein tiefbrauner Körper hinter mir auf dem Steg.

Was ist zu tun ?

Selten war ich mit so offener Nacktheit neben mir konfrontiert.

Ich werde dich einfach ignorieren auch wenn du jetzt deinen Oberkörper anhebst, mich anstarrst.

Ja, ich finde dich schön aber jetzt will ich eigentlich nichts mit dir zu tun haben, vor allem da du dich so total nackt und heimlich angeschlichen hast und und mich jetzt herausfordernd anstarrst.

Ich möchte nur angeln und in Ruhe mein Bier trinken, mach du was du willst und wenn du mich belästigst schubs ich dich ins Wasser.

Ist ja wohl die Höhe, nicht mal beim Angeln ist man vor euch sicher.

So, ich trinke jetzt mein Bier und du neben mir kannst machen was du willst, ich ignoriere dich einfach auch wenn du mich weiterhin anstarrst.

Ich öffne eine frische, noch kalte Dose Bier, geniesse einen Schluck stelle die Dose neben mich und widme mich wieder meinem Schwimmer.

Hinter mir bleibt alles ruhig, ich drehe mich um, niemand mehr da, gottseidank, ich bin erleichtert, greife zu meiner Bierdose und bekomme fast einen Schock.

Du Miststück du nacktes, du bist ja noch da.

Zur Hälfte hängt sie in meiner frisch angetrunkenen Bierdose, dieses braune, nackte Schneckenvieh. Nicht mich wollte sie mit ihren gierigen Blicken, nein, auf mein Bier warst du scharf du nackter Kriecher.

Ich schüttele sie weg von meiner Bierdose, hinein in den Teich, trinke Wasser du Biest !

Father’s Day

Of course I didn’t call him from work either. Forgot. Duh.

Someone asked me about the knitting link to the left. Yes, I have taken up knitting. I knitted about 14 pairs of socks this winter. After the first pair I was hooked. Guess it was kinda therapeutic for me, kinda helped me ease the stress at work.

Once you’ve worn a pair of hand-knitted socks in the winter, you will never want to wear others, believe me. And they really aren’t difficult, once you’ve gotten the concept. If anyone needs instructions, I will be glad to send them. I might take orders, ask me, it can’t hurt!

Today was a great day. Uwe’s second quarterly post-chemo checkup showed no new growths.

He is cooking sicilian pasta for us tonight and we will be celebrating with a nice cold rose from the south of France to accompany our pasta.

Brain Drain

Ugh. Monday morning and actually I gotta get to work.

Am always doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. Tried to call Jen yesterday, only got her answering machine.

Should have called Dad, yesterday was Father’s Day. Called last week, but it was a week too early.

(In Germany, Father’s Day is in May, which is why I have trouble keeping track of this holiday.)

Hope he isn’t upset, will call him today – which is difficult, due to the time difference. Will have to call from work in order to catch him at lunch time.

So, Dad, if you are checking the site, Happy Father’s Day to you!

Ok, folks. Have decided to restrict my political activities to my blog at “Never Be Silent” and provide you here with the usual amount of stuff about me, families, foto galleries, comics, poems, odd stuff, news about my latest biggest fish and so on.

In short, am itching to do some funny stuff again.

On this page, I will just let politics “kma”.

I hope that there will be some contributions from my friend Jennifer (we went to High School together in Munich anno 1976).

Anyone is welcome to contribute – send me an email and I will set up a posting account for you. I mean all of you, Gene, Dad, Pat, Mom, Alex, Sylvia, Uwe, and so on and so forth…..

This is up until now my big catch of the season…..

’twas a Rainbow Trout with 2.250 grams (about five american pounds).

Yes, it was tasty (though I just about had a coronary reelin’ her in…..)

Give me a few days time to get up and running here with links and fotos, and feel free to contribute or mail me for posting access!

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