Tag Archives: Tobi

One Year After

I always knew that at the end of our shared journey, one of us would be mourning the loss of the other. I am relieved that it is me that is mourning, because I would never, ever have wanted you to have to feel the excrutiating pain that has become the essence of the me that I am without you by my side.

I love you. And miss you still, terribly, each waking moment.

There is a hole in my universe which can never be filled.
By anything, nor anyone.

November 20, 2000 – January 30, 2016


Goodbye, my dearest companion, buddy and best dog ever.

You leave me broken and empty beyond words.


Perhaps love is like a resting place
A shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort
It is there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble
When you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home

Perhaps love is like a window
Perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer
It wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself
And don’t know what to do
The memory of love will see you through

Oh, love to some is like a cloud
To some as strong as steel
For some a way of living
For some a way to feel
And some say love is holding on
And some say letting go
And some say love is everything
And some say they don’t know

Perhaps love is like the ocean
Full of conflict, full of pain
Like a fire when it’s cold outside
Or thunder when it rains
If I should live forever
And all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you

Lyrics: John Denver

Rollercoaster Ride

No,  I didn’t fall off of the face of the earth, we just had a very bad scare with Tobi which started with diarrhea on Friday that began to turn bloody in the evening, and culminated with him furiously vomiting partially digested blood on Saturday morning and seizuring.

On our way to the 3rd vet visit on Saturday noon, when the vet suspected there was a ruptured tumor involved, we thought we were taking our last trip in the car with Tobi. Luckily and surprisingly the very thorough ultrasound examination of his organs revealed no tumors at all. It turns out he has a severe stomach/intestinal infection and is being treated with a special diet of lots of chicken and rice and lots of meds and appears to be well on the mend.

I know we’ll be losing him at some point, he is 15 years old. But this was not his time to go, and I’m thankful for that.

I am also thankful for the recent nights I’ve spent on the convertible sofa to watch over him, as he has finally taken to lying next to me and snuggling up.

Happy !!! 15th !!! Birthday


It’s gray and rainy. Dog sleep time.

You’ve been my companion for so long. You are so loyal, so obedient, so intelligent, so wonderfully thickheaded and so affectionate.

A wild and stray cat that wouldn’t let anyone within 20 feet of her became one of your best friends, due mostly to your gentleness, patience and the trustworthiness that your body language conveyed to her. I remember as if it were yesterday how you defended little Miez from the big old male cat that wanted to beat her up. You made me proud. You still do.

Tobi and Miez

You’ve been fishing, have gone out on the lake with us in the row boat, you’ve strode the sidewalks of downtown Munich, rode in elevators, and stopped a policeman running through the yard in the middle of the night dead in his tracks when you were barely 8 months old.


We took you in the car to see the mountains that we were always enjoying on our motorcycles, and you appeared fascinated.


You’ve also traveled across the lake on a steamer, but you didn’t fancy that much. (We won’t repeat that one).

You’re the best, Tobi. Truly.

The Nothing

comes almost every night and seems to bite away at my world:


We’ve really had a lot of fog lately, and the sun rarely manages to break through. It did yesterday though, for about an hour, and I used the time to free the porch and walkways of fallen leaves and put the porch into winter mode, carrying the lemon, almond and bay leaf trees into their winter shelter. We are forecast to get our first frost tonight or tomorrow night.

Things have been challenging with Tobi lately. Again last week, he forgot that he is an old dog, turned around too quickly and slipped, doing the splits with his hind legs. Thankfully, he instinctively sat down immediately, which prevented any damages to his knees and ligaments. The vet gave him a long-term cortisone and pain shot, but as always, the injury affected Tobi’s ability to control his plumbing, so I bought diapers again Saturday evening. Luckily the leak only lasted a few days, and things are now back to normal in terms of his ability to control his bladder.

He’s such a goofy dog, really. He loves going to the vet. When we get to go into the examination room (he always eagerly awaits that in the waiting room) he greets everyone with a wag of the tail and inspects every square inch of the room, always stopping in the corner where the cookie jar is, gazing at the vet expectantly. On a good day, he even goes onto the scale without us having to ask him to do so.

Time flies. He’ll be 15 on November 20th. I did a birthday post on his 4th birthday in 2004, it can be found here. He looks soooo young!

What a Sunday

….it’s turning out to be.

It started just fine with homemade blueberry pancakes and went all downhill from there.

The other discus fish that was afflicted with hole in the head disease and who looked like he was going to pull through was well into the process of dying when I turned on the aquarium light.

We finally figured out a way to bathe Tobi without having to lift him into the bathtub. I have a long length of garden hose attached to a strong pump that I use for changing the water in the aquarium. I filled the bathtub with warm water and put the hose throught the livingroom and out the dining room window to the lawn, where Tobi got his bath this morning. He actually seemed to enjoy it.

We took him to the vet yesterday, as his elbows refuse to heal and he had started getting a loud and raspy cough, which appears better today probably due to the cortisone/antibiotic shot he got and will be getting again on Monday.

The last few days have been rough with Tobi, he’s been biting at his arms and scratching at (what I thought) were the elbows. It’s gotten continually worse and I’ve been jumping up from whatever I’m doing and interrupting him from scratching himself constantly.

After his bath, he started scratching and biting again, so I got down on the floor with him and examined some of the small bald patches he’s been getting.

Fleas. I saw at least two fleas in a square inch area. No wonder he’s been scratching and biting. I feel so stupid for not thinking of it, but he’s almost 15 and he has never had fleas. Never ever. Luckily, I still have a supply of tick/flea drops and immediately put a dosage on his neck. I hope it will give him some quick relief.

Now, I think I need to do vacuuming. Lots. And maybe I’ll wash all of the carpets and get the steam cleaner out too.

But first I’m going to throw a steak on the grill for the old guy.
After all, it is Sunday.

By Now, an Annual Event

Tobi decided to dig a hole in the garden this week and promptly managed to tear one of his claws. The only thing the vet could do is to remove the entire “nail”, and so he is, once again, hopping around on three feet while holding up the front left one, bandaged and adorned with the Bert & Ernie sock from last year.

Unless you aren’t looking that is (or at least he thinks you aren’t). It is then apparently no problem whatsoever to walk normally on all fours.

Dogs. Go figure.

This is the pic from last time around.

On Being a Worried “Mom”

Yesterday morning didn’t start out well. Tobi wanted to go outside at 7.30, which for him is relatively early (he usually sleeps until 9.30).

When he came back in, he promptly vomited three huge piles on the carpet. I felt sorry for him and went about cleaning everything up, reassuring him that I wasn’t angry about him soiling the carpet (which I put in the bathtub to wash). I later saw that he had spit up two piles outside as well.

He spent most of the day just lying around and feeling unwell and when I offered him a small handful of dry dog food, refused to eat. That worried me, as Tobi never refuses to eat. Poor thing.

In the evening, I decided to get some fresh chicken pieces at the store and I made him chicken broth from them. I filled his bowl with broth and some chicken pieces, and the poor guy looked at the bowl and puked again.

I then offered him just the broth, which he took. Over the course of the evening I gave him a few small morsels of the chicken meat every now and then and he managed to keep them in.

This morning, he got me out of bed at 4.00 a.m. to go out and when he returned, he snuggled up to me on the sofa (something he rarely does). His stomach and insides were grumbling like crazy, but he continued sleeping until 8, when I again offered him a small amount of warmed up chicken broth.

He got better over the course of the day and I think he’s gotten over whatever bug he had. Thank goodness.

A Word About Rural Living, Togetherness and a WIP Finally Completed

(though not necessarily in that order)

I accepted a package at the office yesterday from one of the major courier services. When the courier was getting ready to accept my signature on his electronic thingy, he asked for my name. I told him.

He then said, “You live in (name of town), don’t you?”
I chuckled and replied “Yes, I do”.
He then proceeded to tell me the street and house number I lived in.
Made me laugh.
This either means that this particular courier has an excellent memory, or I have been getting too many packages.

I finally completed the scarf that I began to make for myself around the time that I began the pink one. This one took me ages because the yarn (Regia Silk) is very thin, but I am glad I stuck it out because now I have a most excellent scarf, pattern courtesy of Seitherin:

And here, proof that real friends always stick together in everything they do (in this case, it was eating crackers with me [yes, the cat eats crackers – she eats everything]):